her conversations of hope concentr
00:01
basically somebody going stop it and
00:03
somebody going okay my name is Priss
00:09
my name is Sancha and this is my puppy
00:12
we’ve been together a couple months I
00:14
made a Douglas and I’m Teresa jusino we
00:16
met in 2012 and we got married December
00:20
2016 my name is Victor my name is Lee
00:23
who knew each other for seven years
00:24
before we started dating now we’ve been
00:26
together for a year now we have a lot of
00:31
verbal conversations before before sex
00:35
not every time it’s not like this organ
00:36
Oh like we’re just in bed and we talk
00:40
about it what’s the most important is
00:42
listening asking up like oh do you like
00:45
this or do you like that like how can I
00:47
suck your dick consent is respecting
00:52
somebody as an individual that’s
00:53
basically what it boils down to yes
00:55
you’re a team but you’re not like
00:56
merging together you’re still two
00:58
individual people in this relationship
00:59
and it’s part of your job to help them
01:02
be the best individual person they can
01:04
be while they’re with you which means
01:05
not trying to control them right if I’m
01:11
feeling it and you’re feeling it let’s
01:14
do it let’s read each other’s body
01:15
language if we need to be verbal we’re
01:17
confused about what each other wants
01:19
let’s talk about it house it’s happening
01:21
it’s not unsexy it’s not gonna ruin the
01:24
mood what ruins the mood is being pushy
01:25
or being afraid like how you feel right
01:28
now is more important to me than me
01:30
getting off I mean intimacy is hard in
01:32
general and I think people want to
01:34
believe that it’ll just happen yeah
01:36
because if you really love each other
01:37
you know we’ll just be able to we’ll
01:39
just know and it’s like you don’t just
01:41
know like you’re nobody’s a mind reader
01:43
the only way that shorthand is gonna
01:44
develop is if you have the conversations
01:46
first it’s not just about having one
01:51
conversation where you lay it all out at
01:53
the beginning of your relationship and
01:54
then you’re done
01:54
recognizing those flaws and past
01:56
relationships and wanting to learn how
01:58
to be a better
02:00
partner you do learn from your previous
02:03
relationships but I think learn it and
02:05
don’t take it with you create an
02:06
environment and create a culture feel
02:09
soon not feel safe and feel sex positive
02:11
because it’s not something to be ashamed
02:12
about like we all have desires and some
02:14
of us don’t have desires and that’s okay
02:16
too but let’s talk about it not making
02:18
it something that’s weird or taboo sex
02:20
should be fun for both people if you’re
02:21
not a hundred percent sure that the
02:23
other person is having fun check in I
02:24
promise you it will be hot if they
02:26
already wanted to have sex with you it
02:27
will be hot that you asked if they
02:29
didn’t want to have sex with you it
02:30
wouldn’t have been hot anyway you really
02:32
trust in the person a lot more when you
02:34
do have that conversation just be sweet
02:36
and tender to each other and then when
02:38
you want to take it to the bedroom and
02:39
like get choked out make sure you have a
02:42
safe word you’re doing things with your
02:45
body you need to like really understand
02:46
how that’s going to impact you and your
02:48
partner needs to understand how that’s
02:49
going to impact you seeing you voicing
02:52
your needs as a positive because you’re
02:54
giving them information to work with
02:55
consent conflic see can sexy to think of
03:00
that another
—
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The post Queer Couples Talk About Consent appeared first on The Good Men Project.